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Konnie’s dress

Last night’s X was deffo like a house of horror when it came to the fashion – Cheryl’s weird Jonathan Saunders dress was grim – and from certain camera angles her poppy could have been mistaken for a bright red escaped nipple.

Cher looked like the love child of Elvira and Loretta Lyn (will someone please buy that child a paddle brush – and tell her that the beefing on stage is really rather annoying?) Mind you, during the rehearsals for this week’s performance, I spotted her in the harems I’d tipped here for people who wanted to get her look – good to know she’s reading and taking my advice onboard too, then.

And as for Katie (or ‘Hatey’, as I like to call her) … well, her reverse Edward Scissorhands look isn’t going to sweep the nation now is it. Jaysus.

Apart from Dannii’s resplendent red Marchesa and brilliant back comb, the only other hit of the night was to be found on the Xtra Factor, where Konnie Huq was busting a fantastic green dress – she always lopes around like an ungainly ten year old boy in drag, for some reason, but that dress is a winner.

I’m pretty sure the garm in question was the shirred Halston Heritage mini dress at ASOS – ’tis pretty spenny at 365 notes, but by ‘eck it’s beautiful. Am writing a begging letter to Santa pronto.

Written by Johanna Payton