Will Cheryl’s outfit be as cool as my new green dress…?

I hope she wears something really mega this weekend. If it’s a nude dress again I certainly won’t be sorry if she fecks off to America next year. Imagine having all those designers/dresses at your disposal and wearing neutrals every single week? Tragic.

Also tragic – I think I want One Direction to win. Matt’s singing does it for me, but something about him turns me off.

I’ll be out tonight, watching the event of the year (sort of) at a friend’s house. No nudes for me (or designers) – I’m going in my super-duper new green dress, purchased from (gulp) Primark. Fifteen English pounds, ladies. One of the studs is hanging off already, but it is q awesome for the price. It’s the perfect shade of green for redheads, but they also have similar dresses (with varying necklines and stud embellishment) in grey, red and black. My only advice is to buy a size bigger than normal so it hangs loose – makes it look more expensive, basically.

As per the pic above, I’ll be wearing this green delight with grey/silver tights (Primark again, Gawd) and silver stilettos I bought from New Look years ago. I’ve hardly worn those shoes – I think they look great, which obviously means they make my feet throb.

I’m soooo classy, people – for more proof, notice how my son stickered-up the mirror (it’s not a stain on the carpet) – about three years ago. Never got around to scraping it off. Tramperama.

Written by Johanna Payton