Mr. Fashion Detective blasts the onesie

Today, I am handing over the reigns (pun intended) to my other half, Matthew, who made me laugh so much last night, talking about his hatred of animal-shaped onesies, that I insisted he share his ire with y’all.

I hardly ever do guest posts, but as it’s Christmas, thought he should get to air his views (and if you totally disagree, get yourself a bargain reindeer onesie from boohoo for just £7).

Over to you, Matt…

“This onesie business is the perfect illustration of our infantilised culture. Apparently, we all walk round dressed as cuddly animals now. I’ve seen this in pubs. Imagine walking into a boozer, 30 years ago, dressed as a fluffy tiger – you’d rightly get a chinning.

There was a time when blokes would reluctantly put a paper hat on at Christmas dinner for about five minutes to keep the kids happy. These days, the post-Movember tash-rash has barely had a chance to heal before we’re expected to dress up like Gyles Brandreth for December.

These adult romper suits and those novelty flashing Christmas jumpers contain unstable levels of irony and should be banned for anyone over the age of 12. 

I just pity a generation whose fashion icons appear to be Geoffrey and Bungle. 

Having said all that, I might invent a teat to fit over those sugary Christmassy whistmassy warm milk drinks that Starbucks specialise in – the perfect gift for the frightened man-child in your life.”

Now you know why I married him.

Images boohoo/archive

Written by Johanna Payton