Johanna Payton - Fashion Detective

Zooey Deschanel white ruffle blouse and spotty skirt, New Girl episode 3

2012-02-03T12:07:00.001Z

Say penis, Jess!

Because I'm in Made in Chelsea limbo, I need a new style crush...cue, Zooey Deschanel in New Girl - huzzah! Just how much do I love that show? And Jake Johnson. He's even 32 - not that inappropriate for elderly birds.

Looking forward to tonight's episode and I think I'll pick a "Jess" outfit to style-steal every week. In the meantime, shall we copy the look above, ladies?

White Erica ruffle blouse by Reiss, £75

Hot dot skirt by Marc Jacobs @ Selfridges, £250

Screen grab from Channel 40D. Product images from Reiss and Selfridges.

Dress like Keira Knightley - in A Dangerous Method

2012-02-03T10:18:00.001Z

On the couch: In A Dangerous Method, Keira Knightley looks ultra-sultry in early-20th-century style

I love a good, bitchy report in The Mail. In spite of looking hot-to-trot in a bergundy Burberry dress, Louboutins and Chanel accessories at the premiere for A Dangerous Method, they had a right old pop at Keira Knightley for fecking-up her fake tan application. Whatevs.

I do think Keira looks best when she's on the big screen, wearing period costume. Who could ever forget the green dress she wore in Atonement, for starts?

And in A Dangerous Method (which is directed by David Cronenberg and comes out on February 10th) she looks sensational in the turn-of-the-century get-up; prudish, and at the same time, staggeringly sexy...

I *love* a retro lace blouse - but the question is, does Fassbender get his famous ding-dong out in this movie?

The Artist and Baz Luhrmann's forthcoming Great Gatsby (Leo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby - nnnnning!) have put the roaring 1920s well into vogue, but I think slightly more modest fashion from an earlier age is a hot ticket too (I'm trying not to mention Downton Abbey, because I'm not a fan, but of course that has had a massive influence).

Keira has been known to get it right in the present day: At this A Dangerous Method photocall at the 68th Venice Film Festival, she absolutely nails it in a fresh & funky Mary Katrantzou dress. Beautiful. (2011 Getty Images)

So from high, fancy necks in lace to simple pre-war shapes, the period look Keira does so well is de rigueur. And I'm quite up for it, if I'm honest....(be warned there are some *dream* products involved here)

Lace and pleat blouse by ASOS, £40

Draped silk gown by Kaufmanfranco @ NET-A-PORTER, £1,575

Selma blouse by Aftershock, £85

Embellished silk-charmeuse gown by Lanvin @ NET-A-PORTER, £1,600

Victoriana top by Miss Selfridge, £35

Embellished maxi dress by French Connection @ ASOS , £60 (amazing sale price)

Vero Moda @ House of Fraser long-sleeved dress, £35

Basillica gown from the Killer Queen collection by Ian Stuart

Film stills © 2009 Lions Gate Films Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Product images from ASOS, NET-A-PORTER, Aftershock, Miss Selfrdige, House of Fraser and Ian Stuart Bride.

Gary Oldman wins best British film star award at Richard Attenborough Regional Film Awards

2012-02-02T22:38:00.000Z

Warning: this has nowt to do with fashion. But....you know how I feel about Gary Oldman. Imagine my delight at the news that he's won his first acting award in 20 years at tonight's annual Richard Attenborough Regional Film Awards.

And this might make you smile (I did NOT make it - but the pic at 1:56 is worth waiting for)...

Pale and pastel denim: Are we in or out?

2012-02-02T14:04:00.000Z

Appaza, the world has gone pastel-mad. I've been talking about them in various places for the last few weeks, but suddenly I feel a bit swamped by them. In defiance, I'm currently wearing a black horse print jumper over a blinding yellow flower print dress (a look I'm deeply loving - perhaps I'll post a pic laters).

The pale and pastels are utterly candy-floss cute in denim (love the SS12 collection Warehouse look above, all in mint green), but will they look as yummy on a real woman as they do in the ad campaigns? Is this a trend to avoid? Keen to know what you think.

And in the meantime, if you're getting onboard with the craze, here are a few key pieces I might suggest...

ASOS denim pencil skirt in dewberry, £30


Beaumont Organic denim maxi dress, £239

Moto supersoft skiny jean in rose, £38

Miss Selfridge PU biker jacket in light wash denim, £50

Bonprix Bonbon candy skinnies, £29.95

Images from Warehouse, ASOS, Beaumont Organic, Topshop, Miss Selfridge, Bonprix.

Can I interest you in a first look at David Beckham modelling for H&M?

2012-02-01T18:51:00.002Z

Calm down ladies (says she!) - here's a peek of David Beckham launching his first bodywear collection for H&M at their Regent Street store in London - 234 Regents Street, W1, to be exact (not that I'm stalking him or anything).

What can I say? Certainly looks like there will be a good present for the boys there this Valentine's Day - and look how happy that lady in the audience is (in the pic above - am saying nowt about the Becks statue in the pic below...)

Oh David, how we love you and your cream knit and faded jeans - not to mention those kinky boots

Images © Nick Harvey

Spitalfields market, Dolly Dare, Brick Lane, sub zero temperatures

2012-01-31T18:58:00.002Z

Is it cold out there? Hell yeah. I know because I was out in the East End elements, wearing that coral dress and little else, for over an hour this aft. My tootsies is still numb, not to mention other nether regions.

Fingers crossed I'll be able to bring you lots of behind the scenes pics when the feature is out (blue lips and all) on February 14th, but in the meantime I wanted to drool over Dolly Dare, where I found myself hanging around during the shoot...

I had a Dolly Dare dress years back - a gift from my fella - and still treasure it now. In fact, seeing the sexy shop window at Spitalfields today reminded me just how much.

Me rocking Dolly Dare back in '07 - pre-redhead days (shocking)

My old Dolly dress came from Topshop Oxford Circus, but The Spitalfields shop is all kinds of cool.

I absolutely, definitely need to go back - when I'm not freezing my bits off and saying cheese - to investigate the pink and black dress in the window, which is covered in subtle sequins and needs to be in my wardrobe. And to lust after all the other dresses too...

Daring dresses by Dolly (photo from Dolly Dare)

And today got me thinking I should check out East London generally. I really don't spend enough time in those parts and it's so gritty and interesting (I know, I know - it's like trying to claim I've discovered the wheel, but I really am an ignoramus when it comes to the East).

Traffic People in the market is so cool it has its own funky car

We took lots of pics on Princelet Street - you can so imagine Jack the Ripper roaming around these streets *shudder*

Coral dress, red hair = gamble

2012-01-31T08:24:00.000Z

What is life if you can't take a gamble once in a while?

Some might say, a photo shoot is not the best time to take risks, but I disagree (or that's what I'm telling myself). I am not entirely sure that a dress as coral in colour as the one above is going to work with my hair. But it's certainly making a statement. And I parted with £50 of my cash in Topshop to prove it.

I'm styling it up with some added bits and bobs, toning down the colour block with a crochet tee, but there is still a big, fat clash on the cards.

Will it work? I'll let you know in a few hours, when I'm out the other side...

Topshop unicorn print jeans - yay or neigh (sorry)

2012-01-30T15:45:00.002Z

I'm doing another shoot tomorrow (just call me Kate Moss - pfffft) and went on the rampage in town on Friday to find the perfect outfit.

I hovered, for a while, over these funky unicorn print jeans by Moto at Topshop. I didn't take the plunge for the shoot, but am considering them for my own, personal use...a step too far??

Image from Topshop

Johanna Payton - that's me - in Sunday Times Style What Are You Wearing?

2012-01-29T10:45:00.001Z

Open your eyes, woman!

Remember I mentioned a shoot I was doing a couple of weeks back for a v posh Sunday magazine? Well, I'm only in today's Sunday Times Style - go on, give me an "ooh la la".

I can be found on the last page (next To Mrs Mills - ha), in the What I'm Wearing slot. I'd like to say I was clever enough to have thought of sending them my pic, but it was actually a lovely PR friend who did the deed and consequently I was snapped by the ace photographer, Richard Morris Pushinsky, for the mag.

On the day (after answering the door to Rick in my dressing gown and rollers - a look usually reserved for the postman) I had big, bounchy hair but the ferocious wind outside soon but pay to that, which is a shame, but the clothes are the focus and I'm pretty happy with the bold & bright, classic Fashion Detective selection I'd made.

Thanks to Rick for a fun shoot (and taking the pic above with my silly purple camera) - and to Sunday Times Style for making a bird very happy on a Sunday.

Photo by Rick Morris Pushinsky.

Fashion Capital Winter Wonderland event at Aura Mayfair, January 27th

2012-01-28T12:24:00.003Z

Last night was a funny old affair. I was invited down to Fashion Capital's Winter Wonderland at Aura Nightclub in Mayfair...

The Collection concept is pretty simple; hire a nightclub for the evening and stick a ground-level catwalk in the middle of it. Showing on the night were Christina Dami, TCA Men’s Couture, KhuKhuz, Belles of London and Bad London, but it was the promise of seeing the Lauren’s Way RTW Collection (designed by Lauren Goodger) that piqued my interest (you know me and those TOWIE guys).

I was convinced Lauren would be there to see her collection at the event - and to get tongues wagging ahead of the new series of The Only Way is Essex this Sunday.

Standing in a freezing cold guest list queue for 45minutes upon arrival was not part of the night I had anticipated, and maybe the shaky start coloured my opinion of this event. It's a nice idea, but the lighting made the catwalk hard to scrutinise (as you'll see from the vid below) and while the canapes and cupcakes were doing the rounds, a bar bill of £10.50 per vodka and lemonade, plus a 15% service charge, was prohibitive to letting our hair down (a guy next to us was so freaked by the £30 bottles of house wine he opted for tap water). Plus I spilled raspberry juice all over my posh dress. Bah.

Celeb-wise, none of the TOWIE folks were in attendance (boo!), and the only "face" we spotted was Maisy James of Big Brother fame (there she is, in the pic above). Maisy also modelled at the event, which was v sweet as she was so much shorter that the other girls.

In spite of the celeb drought, weird toilets and extortionately priced drinks, there is always a bit of a buzz wherever there is a catwalk - particularly when that catwalk includes male models in feathers and stillettos, see-through dresses and a few freaky fashionistas to stare at...

The event took place at Aura nightclub in Mayfair; a wee bit shabby around the edges for that part of town, I would say

Here's former Big Brother contestant Maisy James arriving at the event

We realised, after we'd been in the club for about an hour, that there was no music! Thankfully, the DJ arrived in time for the catwalk portion of the evening

The show kicks off: The lighting was atmospheric but it was hard to really appreciate the clothes

Waiting behind the wings

Many of the dresses and catwalk looks were pretty casual

This wearable look is almost "everyday" (or is that just me?)

This dramatic clubwear, however, better captures the spirit of the event

There were loads of neutral looks

So a splash of colour made an impact

This saucy number demanded the audience's attention

And it's pretty cheeky from the rear

This Gothic print dress was probs my favourite piece

But the male models were the most fun to watch

And the standout moment of the show came courtesy of the guys: A crazy feather-adorned leather jacket worn with tapered skinnies and stillettoes

He's ready for take-off

Just your everyday jacket - I might treat Mr. Fashion Detective to one

All dressed up and ready to party - but thanks to the 'spenny drinks we skedaddled straight after the show

Playful Promises at Shoreditch Boxpark: Vintage inspired lingerie in time for Valentine's Day

2012-01-27T17:02:00.002Z

Would you like to see my knickers? How could anyone resist (that's rhetorical, by the way). Today, with Valentine's Day on my mind, I've been lingerie shopping at the fabulous vintage-inspired Playful Promises - and I got a bit more than I bargained for...

Playful Promises is a flirty, retro-led brand with some really beautiful undies to offer. I was up at the small but perfectly formed Shoreditch shop, situated in the v trendy Boxpark - the world's first pop-up shopping mall. There's not just knickers and bras for sale, as you'll see, and checking out the Virgin Mary holding on to a clutch of neon knickers, is worth seeing in itself.

Here's what I got up to - and if you like the look of these lovely undergarments, you might want to check out the Playful Promises Valentine's Day catwalk show being held on Saturday 11th February on the top level of Boxpark

There's a vintage feel to all the undies by Playful Promises

No need to tell you that I'm loving the green undies set (bra, £20, knickers, £15, suspender belt, £25)

Most of the bras on show are wireless, adding to the retro look

As well as the dainty stuff, you can also pick up a pair of neon-bright skull motif knickers (£25) - I *heart* these

These knicker tins (£15) make great Valentine's Day gifts

Just drop a hint or two - works for me (sometimes!)

As well as undies, Playful Promises has its own li'l clothing line too - love this simple, timeless nude blouse (£65)

And the only thing more lovely than this swan print blouse...

...is the swan print dress

This dreamy (and very short) dress will set you back £125

The store also sells a select range of vintage-esque jewellery and accessories

This floral aqua ring caught my eye

But this is the one I came home with (it reminds me of the Prada SS12 range - and at a fraction of the price, £23)

If I haven't tantilised you enough, you could pick up a Playful Promises corset at the store...

Or a Madonna-like cone bra by What Katie Wore

Talking of Ms. Like a Virgin - had to show you this!

I think Madge would approve of the positioning (and the sentiment), don't you?

I'm now the proud owner of the black and white Valentine's-themed bra and pants (told you I was going to show you my knickers)

To celebrate V-Day I'm told that Playful Promises' Boxpark and Carnaby Street stores will be offering special Valentine’s Day discount on selected items - nice!

With thanks to Playful Promises.

Selfridges previews Big British Bang in London with Vivienne Westwood, Philip Lim, Mulberry, Nicholas Kirkwood and more

2012-01-26T20:01:00.003Z

Well, I've been ensconced very happily in The May Fair Spa all afternoon (spotted in the lobby: a very slender Amy Childs with Harry Derbidge), but here I am to share my morning with y'all; I was up at Selfridges first thing for the preview of its Big British Bang season (4th May - late August 2012), a fun-packed and fashionable collection to mark a momentous year, covering fashion, food, beauty, homewares and entertainment.

If you're the kind of person who would wear Tabitha Simmons' "Pearly Queen" heels (above) whilst sipping tea poured from an Emma Bridgewater teapot with your bot popped on a "Tunnocks Caramel" cushion, read on 'cos you are going to lurve this...

The centrepiece of the preview was a street party-style table adorned with Great British paraphernalia - and a corgi

Selfridges predicts the return of the street party this summer and has tons of suitable table attire in the pipeline - the sturdy cardboard cake stands are brilliant

Who could resist this Emma Bridgewater tea pot? Commemorative but cool.

And you'd have to stick your cookies in the matching crown...

This stuff has deffo got me in the mood for a Great British overload (and a cream tea)

And I'm tempted to make a bow tie jelly with this Bompas and Parr mould

If you can't make it back into the house after the street party action, pitch your sheep tent in the back garden

On to the home accessories and just how *BRILLIANT* is this Tunnocks Caramel cushion??? I have to have it.

Also got some big love for this embroidered Jan Constantine cushion

HM has never looked cooler

Now to the serious buisness - check out Mulberry's Diamond Jubilee edition of the Bayswater; Rule Britannia!

Or p'raps you prefer a Maj-inspired Launer London bag - the Queen has her own don'tcha know

Rupert Sanderson's delicious red, white 'n' blue strappy sandals

I love Nicholas Kirkwood's designs and these Pearly Queen-inspired heels are outrageously gorgeous

All six inches of those Kirkwood heels; Pearly Queen is *the* trend of the summer (you heard it here first)

The black feather plumage on Tabitha Simmons' design is an homage to the East End

Silk scarves a la Liz

Stella McCartney's horsehead pendant is v covetable

This replica of Kate Middleton's tiara will feature in Selfridges' Tiara Shop and Tiara Exhibition - I'll def go back when that opens to investigate in more detail...

In case you want to escape when all the Jubilee/Olympic madness kicks in, a select bunch of designers have been tasked by Selfridges to design a "survival kit" for the summer; how cool is Philip Lim's denim-jacket-cum-backpack (you really can wear it as a coat)?

Here's Vivienne Westwood's take on the brief

And it looks like Anya Hindmarch is off to play some tennis

I think I might need those Dunlops for my own personal survival

I'll leave you with this iconic image - did you know that Michael Bond was inspired to write his Paddington Bear tales by a teddy he bought in Selfridges? This commemorative version of the cutest bear ever even has a designer bag - bless!

With thanks to Selfridges

Gary Oldman's wife wears leather dress...like mine

2012-01-25T19:13:00.000Z

I'm not dwelling on the fact that Gary Oldman's wife (Alexandra Edenborough) is younger than me (grrrrrrrrr), but I am loving that she was wearing a leather dress on the red carpet last night that is very similar to the brand new one I bagsed off eBay's Fashion Outlet at an unbelievable bargain price...

£12.50 (no, really) leather dress by Love Label @ Very (via eBay)

So basically he likes women in their 30s with short, tight leather dresses in their wardrobes *sigh*

Oh, and HE BETTER WIN THAT OSCAR!

Why don't men dress like George Harrison anymore?

2012-01-25T12:30:00.002Z

Gorgeous George Harrison (by far the coolest Beatle) sang "Isn't it a Pity" and last night, when I was lucky enough to catch a special screening of Martin Scorsese's beautiful documentary, George Harrison: Living in the Material World, I caught myself thinking, "isn't it a pity that boys don't dress like they did in the late 60s anymore"....

Now that's what I call a statement jacket

Being the third time I'd seen the film, I pushed the emotional side of it slightly to one side and really honed in on the fashion. It struck me that while we ladies still have all the wild prints and colours at our disposal, the men have surely been short changed.

George and John: Cool as ice, if you ask me

Nowadays, going wild involves a pair of mustard jeans. Back then, in groovier times, the sky was the limit for the guys with clashing prints, embroidered waistcoats, beads, kaftans and funkier trousers (see below) than I've ever had the pleasure of wearing.

Getting funky with the Mahirishi: George - I want your trousers

Nowadays, male fashion is sooooo dull compared to the floral shirts, psychedelic prints and flamboyant collars George was rocking around in.

And, ever a fashion guru, George continued to plump for bright colours and patterns (he clearly loved a mad jacket) well into his 30s, 40s and 50s.

I know not all men were chipping about in clothes as brave as Mr. Harrison at the time, but at least some were. And just like his love of guitars, fast cars, huge eccentric houses and gardens, George's sartorial adventures were probably more an expression of his personality and creativity than evidence of his materialism.

One of my favourite photos of George - what a beautiful man (and bloody fabulous hair/beard combination *swoon*)

In case you hadn't heard, George Harrison: Living in the Material World has been nominated for the Best Documentary BAFTA. If that doesn't convince you to watch it, maybe this will...

All stills taken from the Martin Scorsese documentary George Harrison: Living in the Material World

First Aid Kit: Cool chicks, hot song

2012-01-23T11:25:00.000Z

Am hoping this is going to ease you nicely into the week, chickens. I've only just discovered First Aid Kit, a sister-sister duo from Sweden called Johanna (great name) and Klara, and they are totes up my alley. Inspired by one of my fave bands (Fleet Foxes), they have worked with another (Jack White) and are now singing about lots of them (Emmylou Harris, Gram Parsons, June Carter and Johnny Cash).

As you'll see above, as well as having a delicious country twang, they are also gorgeous, bo-ho-chic perfect and super-stylish. Definitely my crush of the week - and they are in London right now, so if you get chance, go see them at Rough Trade East, tomorrow at 7pm.

Can we talk food, more food and Sherlock Holmes?

2012-01-22T20:02:00.001Z

As I'm sure you've noticed, I'm well into stuffing my boat race at the weekend and this one was no exception....

In Cambridge, with the ladies, we hit Browns and I consumed a delicious selection of cocktails including a "rivoting raspberry", "pretty in peach" and "coconut passion". On top of that killer concoction I scoffed the main event (above): Belly of pork with sage pesto and onion jus, curly kale, crackling and - wait for it - a cauliflower cheese bread and butter pudding. Jeepers creepers. It was as good as it looks and sounds, kids. Mmmmmmmm.

Today was family time and what better way to spend it than watching Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. There is deffo something for everyone in this movie. Action and wit (for the kids), style and substance (for the parents), Robert Downey Junior (for me).

With three appetites all worked-up, it was off to Bodean's BBQ in Clapham for a Sunday evening feast; the perfect slice of Americana to finish off a top weekend...

H by Henry Holland dog print skirt goes on tour

2012-01-21T11:18:00.000Z

I'm off to Cambridge this aft to (sigh) drink cocktails with ma' ladies, and possibly browse a few boutiques (that option should always be on the table), and am thinking the fabulouso H! Henry Holland skirt I bought from Debenhams last week (now available online) needs another airing.

What to wear with it?

Well, I'm thinking.....

90s grunge is back, you know, so I might wear my Kurt Cobain print tee - if I was buying a new one, this would be it (Topshop, £18)

I've got this cardi in hot pink - but loving the candy version too (Topshop, £30)

Back to black for the shoes (Clarks, £44.99)

Images from Debenhams, Topshop and Clarks

African-inspired looks from Ingenue, Fleur B and Wilbur and Gussie

2012-01-20T10:21:00.001Z

If you're wondering what to wear this weekend, maybe these Afro-centric looks will inspire you (and yep, the Fleur B maxi is the dress version of my beloved flame print silk blouse)...

Afro-flames by Fleur B, £350

Add Wilbur and Gussie's Charlie bag with leopard print - and a v cute elephant, £150

What do we think of this zebra print dress by Ingenue? I'm thinking cheeky, but grown up at the same time, £92

Another Wilbur and Gussie clutch for this dress - matching monochrome and contrast leopard print = perfect, £150

Images from Fleur B, Ingenue and Wilbur & Gussie

Eva Herzigova pays jewellery tribute to Princess Grace of Monaco

2012-01-19T14:41:00.002Z

Is it the nineties? Not quite, but I always get a little blast from the past going on when Ms. Eva "Hello Boys" Herzigova (hands up if you remember the Wonderbra ad?) creeps back onto my fashion radar....

Here she is (wearing a particularly delish fruit-laden dress) photographed in Geneva, promoting a new Montblanc jewellery range launched in tribute to the late Princess Grace of Monaco - also known as Hollywood legend, Grace Kelly.

Quite fitting that one icon of an era pays tribute to another - and good to see Eva (who is only just a smidgen more elderly than me - with my birthday coming up next month, I'm having my annual age-related breakdown) looking so good.

Eva wearing Montblanc "Collection Princesse Grace de Monaco" Petales Entrelaces motif ring, earrings, bracelet, necklace and a unique Haute Joaillerie timepiece

That dress in full - not sure about the shoes, but the (tomato covered?) frock is fab

Quick change: Eva is evening-ready and showing off her Montblanc bling in a sheer black dress

I've gone off black dresses a bit, but this one has star quality

Hello (again) boys: It's the famous Herzigova cleavage

All images Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images. Jewellery by Montblanc.

First peek at Warehouse spring 2012 campaign

2012-01-18T17:33:00.003Z

In the mood for a sneak peek ladies and gentleman? Feast your eyes on a preview of the gorgeous spring collection by Warehouse, shot by Kourtney Roy and staring model/actress Anna Brewster....

Nice day-to-night look particularly, I'm thinking, for a spring break in The States...

You've already been warned; florals are major news

Coral is a big colour for spring

Ooh - I can't wait to feel the sun on my face again!

Images from Warehouse

Beautiful things by Prada, Ellie Saab and Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti

2012-01-17T21:29:00.000Z

In the absence of time and energy, won't you join me in drooling over some beautiful things this evening (I'd ask you to pick your fave, but that would be like Sophie's Choice)...

Every single time I see Prada's resort campaign and those divine floral accessories I go proper weak at the knees

And they come in green. 'Nuff said.

Ellie Saab, making me hot and bothered

As seen in British Vogue, February issue 2012. I give my son £1 for every ten "gold stars" he earns. How many gold stars would I need to win to afford those slice of heaven Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti shoes...?

Images from Prada, Ellie Saab and Vogue UK.

Join the Fashion Detectives on Facebook

2012-01-16T18:03:00.001Z

If you have a little look to the right, regular readers may notice a new icon hanging around for Fashion Detectives on Facbook. It's nowt fancy, just an extra place for down-to-earth fashion fans to chat all things garm-related; we had some great little moments on the blog last year (usually involving Made in Chelsea worship) so I reckon it makes sense to have a separate page for all our fashion finds, fashion rants, style-related questions and sartorial/celeb-related advice-swapping and tips (I struggle to answer all the questions on my own, so hopefully we can all help each other out...)

I'll stick every Fashion Detective post on there, as well as any interesting fashion vids/news/content etc. I find on my travels (please feel free to do the same).

Hope someone gets something useful out of it!

Zooey Deschanel in green and black Prada dress splits opinion - but wins big with Fashion Detective

2012-01-16T10:43:00.004Z

What a flippin' frrock! Check out this and many more dresses from last night's Golden Globes at news.moviefone.com

I know, I know - it's no surprise. Zooey Deschanel - deemed as "worst dressed" by My Daily News - is absolutely doing it for me. Far as I'm concerned, she rocked the red carpet at last night's 69th Golden Globe Awards in a truly unique and amazing floor-length gown.

It's Prada, it's low-cut at the back, it involved a vivid shade of green, it has the cutest, white retro collar, and it looks totally off the page. What the eff is not to love?

It has totally done it's job because I'm now gonna give New Girl a whirl (even if Zooey and Katy Perry are still indistinguishable to my eyes - separated at birth, I tell thee). EDIT: Have watched first episode. Laughed AND cried. It's good, jah.

WORST??? BEST.

Original images by Jason Merritt/Getty. Images available at My Daily News and news.moviefone.com.

Unexpected fun in Four O Nine restaurant Clapham, Honey and Venom Tooting and The Landor

2012-01-15T13:02:00.001Z

Before we became parents, every Saturday night, it seemed, was a magical mystery tour. Where would we drink? What would we eat? Who would we end up talking rubbish to in a quiet corner of a public house. And, of course, what would I wear?

Nowadays, those impromptu adventures don't happen all that often. Hardly ever, in fact. Nights out must be planned well ahead, childcare must be booked and paid for and the evening will usually involve a birthday, a leaving do or some nuptials - in other words, we're usually on someone else's lovely adventure, rather than our own.

But last night, Mr. Fashion Detective surprised me with the news that we had overnight childcare in the bag - and no plans whatsoever. Armed with my new Toptable App and wearing my brand new H! by Henry Holland doggie print skirt (there are poodles on it!) we set off on a cocktail-tastic and culinary feast of an evening...

Honey & Venom (where Smoke used to be) at Tooting Bec was our first point of call - the refurbished bar is looking very swish, the outside area at the rear much-improved - and the Key Lime Pie cocktail is an instant classic

After a quick Red Bull in The Clapham North (loud, full of the young) we went on to The Landor in Clapham North, a v. interesting pub and theatre with an Alice in Wonderland theme indoors and a spectacular beer garden outside

The Jeremiah Weed sour mash beer had to be tried - it tastes like Jim Beam and lemonade. Delicious (and note the v cool glass jar - which did NOT end up in my handbag, much as I was tempted)

Brewed with Bourbon "borne of long tradition from the hills of eastern Kentucky and East Tennessee" natch

Another bar, another drink - note my Zara Taylor corpse bride cameo pendant going strong, there

Now for the main event: We'd never even heard of Four O Nine (above the Clapham North pub). Thanks to the Toptable app we were about to get a very big treat - and how "New York" does it look on a freezing January night??

To get into the restaurant you have to ring a buzzer (loving that) and once through that door, enter through a fire escape: It all adds to an air of secrecy about the place

Inside the restaurant it's very chic, hip and intimate. Think more Greenwich Village, NYC - less opposite the flats at Clapham North tube

Any menu that suggests a "porn star martini" to start with is immediately winning with me - and the chef's tasters were divine (spoons with mozzarella, truffle oil and pine nuts, tiny rye breads with duck breast and grape)

Geddit in there, girl

A glass of pink fizz made for the perfect accompaniment to my meal: Cornish crab and smoked salmon timbale with dill and cucumber pickle & salted lavosh to start, Hereford Poll sirloin steak with green peppercorn & port butter and anchoide dressed leaves with a side of gratin dauphinoise for main, and warm apple and nut baklava with local honey & greek yoghurt sorbet (aka heaven in a scoop) to finish. Seriously, readers, the best food I have ever had round these parts - even better than Chez Bruce, if that gives my fellow South Londoners more of an idea

Cheers indeed

Here's a to a brilliant night - we're considering the private dining room for a special celebration on the horizon, so look out Four O Nine, we will return....

If I've made you hungry, check out the four o nine website - and get your table booked!

Meet Penthouse and Pavement from lovely Liverpool

2012-01-14T10:59:00.002Z

Twitter is a hugely useful tool when it comes to my job. From live Tweeting events to looking for case studies and making new contacts, it's pretty indispensible to me. It's also a way for new labels and fashion entrepreneurs to make contact, and as more people read the blog (thanking you!) more people Tweet their wares at me, hoping to get some exposure here...

Because Fashion Detective is entirely ad and sponsorship free (for now), I always make a judgement based on my own personal taste. It's the point, really. And occasionally something really grabs me. When the founder of Penthouse and Pavement Twittered in my direction, I sat up and took notice.

Three reasons; the founder is a mum of three on a start-up mission, she's based in Liverpool, the dress she showed me (see above and below) is fabulous.

I'm reading Hal Rubenstein's 100 Unforgettable Dresses at the moment (such a great book - thanks mum!) and one of my faves is Chloe Sevigny's long black dress by Alber Elbaz for Yves Saint Lauren, as worn at the 2000 Academy Awards. Elbaz tells Rubenstein, "I would never tell a woman to wear a long black dress in Los Angeles...and certainly not to the Oscars. But Chloe Sevingny is not like most women. She is wonderful and she is different...Even in black she can make an amazing impression."

When I saw this one shoulder dress by Penthouse and Pavement it brought that quote to mind; it's a simple, elegant dress - put it on the right woman and it will absolutely sizzle.

Penthouse and Pavement is a label in its early stages, but I hope to bring you more news about it soon (along with the website link, when it's ready). Maybe I'll even get to see the dresses for myself when I'm in The 'Pool next month...

Images from Penthouse and Pavement

Back on the Gemma Cairney show - doing her OTM slot (woop!)

2012-01-13T17:52:00.001Z

Yessss, the metallic tee was back on today as I was down at Radio 1Xtra towers again (looking knackered - where are my eyes?!) with the very lovely Gemma Cairney. This time I featured on Gemma's So OTM (of the moment) slot.

If you wanna hear my verdict on the three trends going up in the fashion stakes - as well as the three sartorial fads we should be sending to the naughty step - have a listen here (I'm on from 1hr 9mins).

Amber Le Bon models for Vanessa G - in Richmond Park

2012-01-13T11:17:00.001Z

I do love Richmond Park - it's one of my fave places in London. So what a treat to see the stunning Amber Le Bon chipping around the trees wearing some gob-smackingly gorgeous garms by Vanessa G...

Vanessa Gounden's spring/summer 2012 collection lives up to her creative philosophy on "wearable art", with each piece featuring original artwork or photography, reworked through hand painting, appliqué, embellishing and 3D details in the texture of the clothes.

The SS12 Vanessa G range includes three individual capsule collections: Renewal (exploring how discarded, wasted everyday items can be redesigned into beautiful works of art - plastic and metal waste is seen in the prints), Framed Vintage (celebrating the classic splendour of the Belle Époque and Edwardian era) and Ethnic Dazzle (layers of colour, paint techniques, photographs and prints used to create conceptual and almost 3D design), all showcasing Vanessa G's signature style.

Miss Le Bon certainly makes them fly (just hope Benton/Fenton didn't make an appearance during the shoot...pffffft).

Is this midi dress to die for or what?

I'll dream about this dress tonight; the shape, the print, even the belt - everything is perfect. Vanessa G's prices start at around the £600 mark for dresses.

The vivid mix of purple and pastels in this two piece is so on-trend for SS12 it actually hurts...

With a nod to Afrocentric trends, the cut and texture of this fitted dress - perfect for high summer - is truly unique

I thought jumpsuits might be on the way out - judging by this beauty, they are hotter than ever before

This printed trench is the right side of quirky for me

Images from Vanessa G.

What I did wear to the shoot...

2012-01-12T11:51:00.000Z

Predictably, I didn't wear anything I'd put on the shortlist (in a panic), for this morning's shoot. You'll have to wait (betcha can't) for the finished article (29th Jan, so I'm told) to see exactly how I looked, but I bloody love the outfit I put together and have regained my styling mojo. Woop woop.

I'm wearing a floral dress by Louche at JOY - just £30 in the sale - under the world's coolest top; the pink textured foil tee by Topshop. I am crazy mad about this item of clothing. I had other bits and pieces on for the shoot, but now I'm back in the office, stuffing my face with pastry, I've popped on my red Topshop studded back cardi and it works a treat with the flowers. Shall we just skip winter and go straight to spring?

Topshop's foil tee, £30

Product image from Topshop.

Preview: Ted Baker spring collection 2012 - ladieswear

2012-01-12T09:00:00.006Z

You've seen the boys, now here are the mega-pics (and a vid) I was able to grab of the girls from the front row at Ted's Team Day, a very special preview of Ted Baker's spring/summer 2012 collection...

I spy my old pal Kate MacAuley on the front row, exitedly waiting for the fun to start - and this was a really fun show in an exciting catwalk space

We got our first view of the girls spelling out T.E.D. R.O.C.K.S with their t-shirts. Very cute.

Ready to rock, ladies?

The models' first walk was in colour block two pieces with a peplum waist - cute, fifties and gedda load of those sky blue heels

Gorgeous colours and a statuesque effect

Those blue shoes really will have to be mine...

In total contrast, a very preppy look was next up - loving the bow tie

One of my fave looks of the show; the Abbee floral jacket with matching top and shorts. Simply gorgeous for summer. Want.

The matching grey silk shorts and top on the right also tickled my fancy

I have a feeling that readers of this blog are going to love the floral maxi and pretty floral tea dress Ted has in store for spring

Give me a Balearic Island, give me a beach....

If I had a real job, I'd prolly go to it in one (or all) of these outfits

If you have a wedding coming up in the spring, bear these two beauties in mind

I do believe this is Ted's circle hem dress, available right now via Style Compare for £119 - just how good does it look with the sky blue heels *weeps*

Am so into the red and blue - it's air hostess chic, man

A contrast scarf will always add style and depth to colour blocking

The pleated blue maxi dress caused a real stir when it glided down the catwalk

The red beads just set it off

Another gasp moment for the audience. Now all I need is an occasion with which to justify purchasing this beautiful nude maxi dress with pleated tiers to die for. I hope kate Middleton doesn't beat me to it (I can so see her in this).

The deep v at the back just accentuates the prettiness

Bravo, Ted Baker...but how do you top that?

Ahhhh, with top hats

Hats aside, those simple black and white dresses with applique detail are lovely

It's the bridal section - yay! Ted's maxis are perfect for bridesmaids who want to look fashionable not frumpy

Great colours - and confetti

Ahh, Johnny Depp is going to the wedding...

Cue massive applause

Great show with a truly captivating finale

Glad I wasn't sweeping up - thanks, Ted!

It was a fab event and I lurved Ted's gorgeous new designs - if the pics get you in the mood for more on Ted, you'll be able to read a full catwalk report by my good self at Style Compare's Style Platform later today.

Preview: Ted Baker spring/summer collection 2012 for men

2012-01-11T22:43:00.004Z

Who's in the mood for some late night eye candy? As I mentioned previously, I was lucky enough to be at Ted Baker's SS12 preview this morning and I've taken lots of pics to, let's face it, saturate your whistle.

The ladies follow in the morning (as does a full catwalk report for Style Compare), but while we're all in the mood for gorgeous clothes on gorgeous men...

Well, the first model looked like Robert Pattinson, so there's a good start - and he's wearing a jolly nice chino and anorak combo there too (khaki and red = great scheme for blokes)

Boys who moan that they don't have good colours to choose from, take heed

Ted keeps it simple - but the scarf gives this striped tee pizzazz

Loving the preppy deckchair stripes, glasses, satchel and brogues with denim shorts

Ted's tailoring has a very casual impact

Here's how to work a pink suit

Perfect in (salmon) pink - it shouldn't work, but it does

And speaking of pretty in pink...more men need to embrace this colour

I'm so buying my boy (the big one) the sage green jeans - and forcing him to wear them. Great colour.

The Johnny Depp-a-like model went down a storm with the ladies on the FROW - loving his simple styling here too (those desert boots must be bought)

The 80s "yacht club look" sneaking back in here

This surly, slightly scruffy (and a bit older) model showed Ted's playful side; he toughened up the pastels and rocked the casual tailoring

(Denim) suited and booted

Dunno about you, but the checked shirt and tie are doing it for me...

Nothing beats a floral finish, guys

Suits you sir - with a splash of Miami Vice *applause*

With thanks to all at Ted Baker and 7thingsmedia

Ted Baker teaser.....

2012-01-11T18:05:00.002Z

What a day! What a brill show put on by Ted Baker and his team.

A full blog to follow this eve on the menswear, but here's a little teaser in the meantime...

It's Johnny Depp! And that famous beardy model bloke!

Beautiful florals were on parade....

Tune in laters taters...

Fashion-tastic - and a clothing crisis

2012-01-10T21:00:00.002Z

Man. Did Christmas ever happen? After all that relaxation, and Tweeting thrice a day, I've already been thrust back into utter, fashion-tastic chaos...

Tomorrow, I'm dashing into town to have a sneaky peek at Ted Baker's spring/summer preview which promises to be a huge treat with lots of bloggers and fashionistas in attendance. Friday, I'm doing a live interview on Radio 1 Xtra, talking about the trends going up, up, up - and down, down down - on my style barometer.

In between those two engagements, on Thursday, I'm doing a photo shoot. It's for a v influential (and posh) Sunday magazine. And I don't know what to bloody wear! So much for my self-styling credentials. I desperately want the dress above from ASOS, but the timings won't work out. You'd think with the amount of gear I've got stashed in every corner of the flat that this would not be an issue, but a photo shoot that isn't preceded by a major shopping spree does not feel quite right to me.

Perhaps I'll have time after Ted to have a blitz around the shops. The shoot is supposed to convey my own, everyday personal style, so it should really involve a midi dress, but do I go medium quirky, or do I go absolutely batshit mental??? Aggggghhhhhhh!

Too expensive? (Mary Katrantzou @ NET-A-PORTER, £942 sale price)

Too Chung? (Vero Moda , €39.95)

Too conservative? (Topshop, £55)

Too stripy (aka liable to add 10lbs)? (Whistles at ASOS, £75)

Too bold? (Langley @ Ted Baker, £104)

Too long? (Zara, £25.99)

Too similar to everything else I own? But it would look good with big hair, coloured tights, my new coat, a contrast scarf and the navy boots.... (Warehouse, £45)

Or, do I go vintage...??

Product images from ASOS, Topshop, Warehouse, Zara, Vero Moda, Ted Baker and NET-A-PORTER.

Perfect January outfit

2012-01-09T20:43:00.000Z

Today was the day I had to be a grown-up. All day. After a final round of tutorials with my fashion journalism students, I went to see my accountant for the pain of completing my tax return - and justifying my annual work-related Topshop expenditure.

Then I did yet another nit treatment on my son's itchy head.

The outfit I'm wearing as a result is prolly as sensible as it gets, for me - but I do quite like it...

Topshop midi t-shirt dress, £34

Topshop red studded back cardigan, £20 (sale price)

M&S suede moccasin boots, £55

When Fashion Detective went to Westfield Stratford City (and discovered Tap East)

2012-01-08T22:31:00.004Z

Ooh readers. What a day it's been today, at Westfield Stratford City. I'm pooped, if I'm honest, and slightly giddy after my first alcoholic drink(s) since New Year's Eve, so I'll keep the slightly squiffy wurdz to a minimum and let the pics do the spraffin'.

But can I just point out that the new, mega wool and faux fur trim coat I'm wearing in the photo above was reduced in the Topshop sale from £125 to - wait for it - £30!!!! My God, it's the bargain of the century; worth the journey to Stratford for that alone, but what else did we get up to...

First stop if you're shopping at Westfield with the family, keep the kid(s) happy by calling into the Lego shop...

The "build your own minifigure" feature was a massive hit

It's serious work, building a mini fig

Hard at work hands

All the shops you'd expect are there...

...and some nice surprises (I also went into The Kooples for the first time ever - expensive and androgynous, but v slick)

In the French mall tradition, there are some fab window installations...

...loved these thigh-high boots by Kat Maconie

Erm, at a shopping centre? A slightly Gaga-esque window

LOL? Are you having a laugh?

After a good old look around, nothing beats a Yo! Sushi bowl of udon noodles

And Yo! is strategically placed right next to Topshop

Yes, those are orange Yo! plates on the ceiling (nice touch)

For afters, you might have an ice cream...

...or a cupcake...

Or a big fat mug of mulled wine at Tap East in The Great Eastern Market (near Waitrose)

Mr Fashion Detective comprehensively broke his "booze-free January" resolution - but when the beer is brewed on site, what's a boy to do?

Checking out Tap East is one of the main reasons we went to Westfield - it's run by a friend of ours who seriously knows his bars/ales

You can drink in or buy fabulous beers to take away

You get a huge mug of delicious mulled wine for your three quids - t'was the perfect way to celebrate my Topshop triumph

It's deffo a family friendly establishment - and one for the serious beer fans who will love the microbrewery (yes, boys, this is a v attractive option for "killing some time" if your missus is raiding the shops for hours...)

I still cannot believe this coat was £30 - pinch me (and tell me why I look like I've been Botox-bothering in this pic. I so haven't.)

And after the shop-a-rama, it was off to a housewarming partay; and yes, that is Rose, wearing her onesie. She is seriously addicted, man. But she doesn't half wear it well.

If you'd like to visit my mate Rabid Barfly at Tap East you can find details here - say hello from me!

To onesie or not to onesie?

2012-01-07T15:22:00.002Z

I'll be honest, I'm not all that good at being fashionable in January. I just went out shopping to (gulp) Primark in Tooting, looking for socks and tights (slick), and found myself (hair thrown into a bun, midi dress and biker boots, virtually no make-up - it wasn't pretty) in the nightwear section.

Perhaps it's a January thing, perhaps it's the fact that my gorgeous friend Rose spent the whole of her Christmas in one (or looking forward to the next time she could put it on), but I found myself looking out for a "onesie"....

If you don't already know, a onesie is a giant romper suit for grown ups, similar to the style One Direction used to knock about in when they were X Factor contestants *shiver*

And my pal Rose obviously isn't the only one who has taken to lounging in the most uber-comfy domestic attire since the slanket - Primark had sold out of every single onesie going. I had to settle for a pair of flannel, monkey-print PJs (clearly, there's not any action on the cards in my bedroom this weekend).

The Dalmation-print onesie pictured above is the one that appeals to me most. It's by Topshop, but it's no longer avaialble on the website (although I did spot a couple left in Debenhams Clapham Junction Topshop concession last week). My only option now may be to buy it off a man via eBay - he used it once, for a fancy dress party. No comment.

So is everyone in a onesie right now? Is this a craze sweeping the nation? I'm still just not sure about it. I sort of want one to sit around in - but I get a bit edgy in anything less than a full blown outfit, unless I'm actually in bed.

Maybe this (sort of) girly one by Sorbet @ Very is the answer; it's a little bit stylish, and a little bit less novelty than the ones I've seen so far. But then, I've been told that the fleecy feel and (optional) animal feet give one's onsie that certain somethin' somethin'...

What do you reckon? Is the onesie a must-have for winter, or fashion no-no?? I need to know...

Images from eBay and Very

Dressipi App beats the fashion headache of vanity sizing

2012-01-06T16:54:00.003Z

Wowserino - how much do I love this app??

Launching today, Dressipi is basically a size converter to use when shopping for garms (what else would you be shopping for?), particularly online.

We all know vanity sizing exists, but it's only when you see the figures spelled out that you really get a sense of how widely ('scuse the pun) shop sizing varies. According to Dressipi, a woman with a 35 inch bust, 27 inch waist and 38 inch hips is a size 8 in Zara and a size 12 in H&M (you don't know how releived this makes me feel after my last bout of sale shopping).

And while it's baffling (and annoying) enough on the shop floor, realising the disparity in brand sizing is so big makes online shopping more daunting than it needs to be.

So, this 'ere Dressipi Size Finder business basically helps women buy the right size in each piece they love from each brand - no more trying on a size 10 in one shop and feeling like a supermodel, only to barely get your bum in a size 12 next door.

And best of all, it's free.

Dressipi co-founder Sarah McVittie reckons she "set up Dressipi with the sole purpose of helping women navigate through the increasing choice of clothes online, to find clothes that will make them look and feel fabulous always. We believe that fashion is a democracy. We are making the luxury of personal styling accessible to everyone no matter what their age, shape, budget or location. Most importantly, it's giving women the knowledge to know how to shop with confidence."

I can get with that - and have just downloaded Dressipi for free - it's deffo the most useful fashion app I've come across since Fashion Speak.

Get on it, girls.

Images from Dressipi

Winter warmers by Pull-in

2012-01-05T10:00:00.005Z

Ok, so I love "cosy" undies, I like Fair Isle, and I'm pretty partial to the French label Pull-in. No wonder I'm mad for this new Party-time range, proving that the merriment doesn't have to end when the Christmas decs come down....

In case you haven't come across (ahem) Pull-in panties before, they feature a waist band with "10x stretch" performance and are made from the same material that is used on snow goggles. Doesn't sound so hot, but the statement prints and lovely cuts do it for me, as well as the technology.

This Party-time bizniz is for girls and boys and I'm all for prancing around my living room in bra, knickers and the matching socks - as long as the central heating is on full blast.

Images from Pull-in.

Made in Chelsea Christmas Special: Caggie Dunlop's black jumpsuit

2012-01-04T17:44:00.001Z

I simply had to do a Caggie fashion spot for the Made in Chelsea Christmas episode, darlings (wasn't it fab???? Now I just need to watch the Come Dine With Me Made in Chelsea special; I've really let my commitment to watching reality telly slide over Christmas).

At Jamie's party, in between snogging Spencer (woo hoo!), Caggie wore my party fave - a trusty black jumpsuit:

With a lush cowl neck and bags of glam, Caggie's onesie was from Gorgeous Couture and is £174 in the sale. I quite fancy the khaki version myself....

It all went off in the Christmas special....

Images from Channel 4oD.

Made in Chelsea Christmas Special: Millie's orange tiered & embellished Max Azria BCBG cocktail dress

2012-01-04T10:52:00.001Z

Now I'm properly back at work, first on my "to do" list is finally watching the Made in Chelsea Christmas Special. Can you believe I've waited this long??? It's testament to my willpower (although the Cadbury's selection box isn't faring quite so well).

I'm only five minutes in, and I've already spotted a dress to die for - can't believe no one else has written about this already...

Max Azria's BCBG is one of my fave labels (remember that little treat I treated myself with back in Vegas?) and the Made in Chelsea ladies - always on my style wavelength - were at the London King's Road branch doing their pre-Christmas shopping.

The stunning orange Mariana tiered and beautifully embellished dress Millie made a beeline for is beyond yummy, and although it's definitely a party dress, I think it's more suited to the pre-Spring season (see how I'm avoiding the "W word") than Christmas.

You know, there's a bus that stops outside my house and goes directly to Chelsea. And my birthday is coming up....

Millie looking hot in orange (Alice looking Proudlocked-off)

Mariana by Max Azria BCBG

Images from 4oD and bcbg.com.

My answer to the January blues...

2012-01-03T17:14:00.001Z

Forget the blues and get with the January silvers: Coast, £79.99 (sale price)

The first week of January is uaually the pits - there's no getting around it. I remember a few years back (six to be exact) reaching my lowest ebb on January 3rd. E was a baby - a baby who never stopped wailing - and I found myself pushing a pram around Wandsworth Common in the dark, cold and rain, desperate for him to sleep, circumnavigating the discarded, browning Christmas trees and weeping over the fact that my figure/dress sense/career/bank balance would never recover from the trauma of new motherhood....

I was wrong.

Two years ago to this very day, I cemented my "recovery" by starting Fashion Detective. It isn't my first foray into blogging by any means, but it is by far my most enjoyable. And there hasn't been a second of regret, even if I border on the obsessive about it.

This year, with E quietly doing his holiday homework at my side (he's just as prone to last minute-itis as I am), I'm happily going back to work. No tears, doom or gloom.

Writing about metallics is my first official job of the year because, thanks to this blog, fashion is now my mainstay. Lusting over shiny, happy clothes certainly beats crying over dying Christmas trees - and it sure makes the first week of January feel a lot less cruel...

Notte by Marchesa @ The Outnet, £299.25 (sale price)

Oasis, £32

Luisa Beccaria @ The Outnet, £497 (sale price)

Topshop, £20 (sale price)

Product images from Topshop, Coast, The Outnet and Oasis.

Welcome to 2012...

2012-01-01T12:01:00.000Z

Why is Emily Scott from I'm a Celebrity in my kitchen? Pfffft.

A very merry and happy new year everybody! And a huge thanks to all who have read and supported the blog this year. Writing this thing really is the bestest part of my work and I promise to bring you even more fun, laughter and wonderful fashions in 2012.

Here's how we celebrated....

It's only I'm a Celebrity 2011 winner Dougie Poynter, complete with tattoos

Voting lines are now closed, but if you do call, you may still be charged.

Jungle Queen Stacey Soloman in da house

A convincing Mark Wright...or a v lazy lazy fancy dress attempt?

I can confirm that Emily and Mark did get it on at this party...

The obligatory Iceland spread - oh, how we partied like celebrities with our Banoffee Bites

Cosmo on tap...mmmmmmm

Dougie goes "bug bobbing" Bushtucker Trial stylee

A slightly moist Dougie with his winning sour snake

Fatima Whitbread counts down to midnight...

Here's to staying up waaaay past our bedtimes

What better way to wind down at 1am?

Perhaps this will be my new look for 2012...

I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Year...

2011-12-31T10:43:00.001Z

Oh, yes. Another New Year's Eve, another themed party.

Freshly ejected from Butlins, I've got just ten hours to turn myself into Emily Scott (I hope Matt is prepared to be Mark Wright for the night), invent several Bushtucker Trials that can be performed in one's living room, create an Iceland spread (that bit's pretty easy - although duck skewers are banned on the grounds that just the thought of them makes Eliott heave) and whip up a Jungle Juice punch that won't land anyone in hospital.

My son has written me the following, helpful fancy dress list:

Wig
Shorts
Fake tattoos
Being sexy

What an excellent party planner he's turning out to be.

Image from ITV

Butlins part 3: The highs (Ocean Spa), the lows (Turner's)

2011-12-30T17:50:00.004Z

Our last day at Butlins is always a special one. At 11am, the four ladies rocked up to the Ocean Spa (oh yeah, Butlins has a spa) for two hours of hot tubbing, sauna-ing, ice caving, steam room-ing, spa pool-ing and disco showering. The spa is a proper highlight and, relaxed and glowing, we were bang on the fizz straight after, in celebration of a lush morning.

In the evening, we couldn't wait to try Turner's - an on-site restaurant opened in April this year by celebrity chef (and Yorkshireman, which always appeals to me), Brian Turner.

I won't go into all the details, but suffice it to say that while the food was nice, it was waaaaay overpriced - particularly considering the clumsy, bizarro "service" which included the inability to deal with 14 customers as one party (even though we booked two days in advance), not having the wine or main I wanted, forgetting the children's main courses entirely, the inexplicable manhandling of my shoulders (??) and the incredibly rude handling of a botched bill. The two free bottles of wine (which we were hastily offered mid-meal - before we'd complained, to be fair) didn't compensate for the fact that we paid nearly £300 for the "pleasure" and all left feeling reet hacked off (as did the family at the table next to ours, who also had cause to complain).

It's only my opinion, but if you're going to charge London restaurant prices and claim to be "family friendly", you can't offer up staff who need every order repeating several times, write dessert orders on their hands and would be better placed shovelling chips in the Burger King across the way. Does that sound bitchy? It's meant to.

Good luck waiting for those main courses, kiddles

Shame the Christmas fizz fizzled out in Turner's

Back in the Skyline Pavillion, we cheered ourselves up with a couple of cocktails and the kids spent the last of our dosh in the arcade. The Turner's experience certainly didn't sour their experience of But-er-lins...especially when they cashed in the 6,000 (6,000!) arcade game tickets they managed to win between them.


Not sure if this many childrens are meant to pile into one "submarine"

Cashing in the bloody tickets

And just because we're nuts, the ladies put the Butlins experience to bed by hitting Jak's nightclub, home of Corky's shots, loud chart hits and bored, burly bouncers.

A spoonful of medicine helps the Corkys go down (in one)

Hmmmm, a slightly spurious clain methinks

So, we're all done and dusted for another year. And after the straw that broke the tired Fashion Detective's back (an univited Redcoat hammering on our Shoreline Hotel room door at 9am to see if we'd left yet), I'm just about sure the Butlins dream is over for this family.

After five years on the trot, we'll be doing something new next Twixmas.

But Butlins will always have a special place in my heart; after all, it was there - on this very day in 2009 - that the idea for this blog popped into me brain, over a vodka Relentless (natch). And we've certainly had four and a half brilliant Christmas holidays there, and we'll remember them fondly forever.

Cheers, Billy!

Butlins part 2: Play Zone, Splash World, pizza, Twilight, Festival...

2011-12-29T10:38:00.001Z

A viewing of Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 to chill us out

Well, we're still alive, and yesterday was a much calmer day. I gave my £14 New Look snake print dress (sale) an airing, as we chilled out with a lunch of chicken tikka masala in the Sun and Moon pub. Champion.

Having a giggle in the Sun and Moon, Butlins

Then it was straight to the gigantic pool where the boys hit the water slides and I hung around the jacuzzi pumps (that sounds rude, but it's not).

After Pizza in Papa Johns and a viewing of Twilight Breaking Dawn, I was extremely well behaved with just one Pina Colada to see me through the Festival Show (and a lady in head to toe sparkle giving me serious respect for my sequin leggings).

It's the Festival show (avec questionnable purple jump suit)

There's something I didn't expect to see on the Centre Stage big screen

Rock on

We're forever blowing bubbles

Time for a cuddle on the bunks (and catching up with El's Butlins "documentary") before bed

Thanks to the zen-like attitude I finally managed to achieve for one night only, I'm clear-headed for the final day ahead; the girls will hit the spa and we'll find out just how delicious Brian Turner's West Riding pork pie really is...

Butlins part 1: Versace leggings, Take That tribute act, wrestling, a manwich...

2011-12-28T12:33:00.002Z

Was Butlins prepared for these leggings??

I had a vision this year, a vision of a calm zen-like Butlins excursion, betwixt Christmas and New Year, where I would stick to a moderate amount of the same alcoholic beverage, the kids would take part in wholesome activities (junior fencing at 4 o' clock anyone?) and there would be no crazy antics or remoreseful hangovers...

Night one, after several glasses of Vodka and Relentless and several more Corky's shots (downed in numerous varieties including sour apple, white chocolate, cola cube and fiery ginger - ewwwwww), we were shouting "do it do it do it" at the Superslam Wrestlers, getting over-excited at Beautiful World, the Take That tribute act, disco dancing to Bruno Mars, recklessly handing over quids for the kids to blow in the arcade and coming back to the room for a glass of Cava, an inexplicable round of God Save the Queen and a Manwich (don't ask) - only to get busted by a man in a Santa hat who told me I'd be "in terrible trouble" if he had to come and tell me off again for creating a "noise disturbance".

If we manage to keep out of trouble, we've got another two days of high calibre fun to look forward to...

Fun on "the truck" (I'm after those jeans)

Sweaty wrestle mania

Bit of copycat wrestling

Beautiful World Take That tribute act doing the stool section (!)

They don't impersonate, they "celebrate" *FACT*

Never Forget no, no

More "showstoppers"

El got right back into Vegas mode with his gambling cup

All good nights should end with a Manwich...

J'arrive Butlins

2011-12-27T17:44:00.000Z

A letter was waiting from TV chef Brian Turner...

We're here. It's v exciting. E had two selection boxes waiting on the bunk beds and we had a "letter" from Yorkshire chef Brian Turner, who has a new restuarant here (with "West Riding pork pie" on the menu). I've been sale shopping in Bognor New Look and am about to hit the Skyline in my new green jumper (and Versace leggings - nothing but the best for Butlins) for a vodka Relentless or two....

Cable sleeve jumper, New Look sale, £12

The kids hit the seaside, just in time for sunset on Bognor seafront

Boxing Day Topshop ponderment....and Butlins

2011-12-26T21:42:00.001Z

With my Topshop vouchers, will I raid the sale to buy this...

Topshop sale, £30 (was £60)

Or this (worth it for the sexy back)...

Topshop sale, £35 (was £60)

Decisions, decisions.

In other news, I will be blogging from Butlins for the rest of the week.

Oh, yes; the Skyline Pavillion, Reds nite spot, Take That tribute act Beautiful World (wot no Robbie?), Corky's shots, daytime panto, outside hot tub overlooking the waltzer...you name it, I'll be doing it (!) And I'm taking you all with me. Better fasten your seatbelts....

If you loved Karen Gillan's Christmas Day Doctor Who reindeer jumper...you'll love this

2011-12-25T21:44:00.000Z

How good was the Christmas Day Doctor Who - The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe?? As well as the tears, there was also a fashion highlight in the form of Karen Gillan's lovely, lovely reindeer jumper.

If you fell in love with it too, check out this looky likey Fortuna poncho by Dolce Vita at shopbop.com - and it's only £65.97 in the sale!

Dolce Vita @ shopbop.com, £65.97

Images from BBC and shopbop.com.

Christmas Day 2011...

2011-12-25T15:24:00.000Z

Has been wonderful so far...

There's been a mini Champagne fountain.

Cheers, chickens

Mr. Fash Detective gets in the (teeny) spirit

The ladies

One sniff of the barmaid's apron...

The Manolo Blahnik's had to come out today...

Santa came to see me too: Necklaces by Zara Taylor and Pandora

Merry Christmas everybody

2011-12-25T09:12:00.001Z

He's been....

A very Merry Christmas to y'all.

Three last minute buys for Christmas...

2011-12-24T13:58:00.000Z

£19 grey leather (leather!) dress by Love Label @ Very Clearance (via eBay Fashion Outlet)

Suede Moccasin boots, £55, M&S

Reindeer print lurex jumper, £10 in the H&M sale

I'm all good to go... Merry Christmas everybody!

Check out my fashion predictions for 2012...

2011-12-23T17:49:00.000Z

If you're wondering what 2012 has in store fashion-wise, check out my crystal balling on Yahoo's Style It Light....and I should be on Radio 1, New Year's Day, talking to Aled on the Sunday Surgery about 2011 fashion and what's coming up in the next 12-months.

Just call me Mystic Payton.

[Image: Holly Fulton show at London Fashion Week as used on Yahoo: John Phillips/UK Press/Press Association Images]

A new fashion bible - in time for the Olympics - by Tracy and Russell Rose

2011-12-23T11:01:00.001Z

I got my mitts on the book above this week; Fashion Fabulous London by hat designer Tracy Rose and her journo-hubby Russell. It's an in-depth guide to fashion shopping in London that's been updated for the Olympics, telling you where the nearest fashion havens are if you're in town for The Games.

It could have done with more of a proof read (tsk), but it's a nice book/directory with decent reviews of each shop and boutique, a good mix of designer and high street fashion recommendations and even a section on South London that includes Balham (Balham Bou is reviewed, natch).

But my fave bit is the Lavazza-sponsored (so that's how writers/fashionistas are managing to get fashion titles out these days) guide to the best hotels, restaurants and bars for celeb/fashion icon-spotting in the Capital. I might make it my mission to get round every one next year...do you think it will affect my blogging? (Hic!)

Christmas cheer, Christmas tears...lots of train station action

2011-12-22T22:39:00.008Z

I'm in full-on holiday mode, here. For me, that means getting into a "mum head space", enjoying some family-friendly Christmas festivities, and a bit of a boo too...

Saw my pops on his merry way this morning (and that's all the extended family business taken care of for this year) then investigated the temporary Platform 9 & 3/4 (a la Harry Potter) with my boy. It's moving back to its rightful place next week (so the Scouse construction worker who took a shine to us told me), so that will be worth a visit if you're down that way.

And if that's not enough fun for one railway station, we then spent two hours trying (and epic failing) to do the Lego Christmas treasure hunt in St. Pancras. It is rock hard (we only found three Lego baubles out of 12!) - but a good excuse for me to stick my nose into Accessorize, Oliver Bonas, La Senza and Fossil.

Posing with the giant Lego tree

Don't forget to switch the (Christmas) lights off: Soho, London

After a customary diversion to Topshop Oxford Circus (where E found me the most striking electric blue sequin top in the Peekaboo concession - he's a stylist in the making, man), we hit the cinema. I knew nothing about Hugo, apart from that it is directed by Scorsese, and I could not have had a more emotional or wonderful surprise.

Kids or no kids, it is so worth seeing (in 3D if you can). It continued the train station theme of our day, and brought tears to my eyes...

Where else to go next but to Bella Italia Leicester Square for some sustenance (and Prosecco for the mummies) and then onward, to M&M World London (where they do not appear to sell M&M pretzels - what kind of an M&M World is that??)

Bella blokes

Is the green girl in heels meant to be John, Paul, George or Ringo?

On the buses

And after a gruelling schlep around Hamleys, we sealed the deal with a quick stop in H&M Kids for a Superman jumper and a pair of rocket red Lightning McQueen trousers. Wowsers.

Leather skirts rock

2011-12-21T19:36:00.001Z

This morning, I told Radio 1's Aled he should buy a meat coat for 2012 (listen to the Sunday Surgery on January 1st to hear it with your own ears).

This afternoon, I wore my Manolos to (a delicious) lunch at the Lass O' Richmond Hill and an old lady asked me to do a small parade (with a twirl) for her. Pervy.

Now, I'm wearing the Urban Code leather skirt as shown above and am off to spread glad tidings - and a vintage vibe - to BBC Radio London's Late Show.

Is it Christmas or wot?

How many faux fur coats does one woman need...?

2011-12-20T17:09:00.000Z

Been doing the last of my Chrimbo shopping today (and been to the nail bar and had my talons painted a brighter shade of orange than the sun).

Sadly, as well as splashing out on gifts for the family, I also made the mistake of trying on the above faux fur coat in M&S. It. Is. Awesome sauce. It fits like a glove, looks soooooo stylish and at £110, it isn't a total bank breaker.

BUT - I just bought that sizzlin' snow leopard coat from House of Fraser. What to do??? (I do appreciate that in the grand scheme of things, this is not a "problem", but still...)

Per Una @ M&S faux fur longline textured coat, £110

Images from M&S.

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Maxi Priest wishes you a very Merry Christmas...along with the Puppini Sisters, Ben Duncan and Jo Good

2011-12-19T11:09:00.005Z

Yes - it's Maxi Priest! Singing and that for your (rasta) Christmas listening pleasure. Let me explain...

Last weekend, I was invited along to the BBC Radio London Sunday Sessions Christmas party. As my regular readers probs already know, I'm a regular guest on the BBC London Late Show, with the gorgeously glam Jo Good. Jo also presents the brilliant Sunday Sessions (she has had Piney Gir on that show - just sayin') and was kind enough to have me and my entourage (that's you, Rose and Lea) along for the ride.

It was a cosy and groovy affair upstairs at The Distillers in Hammersmith with lots of Jo's regular guests in attendance. Here's Jo (in her lovely sparkly dress) with Ben Duncan of Big Brother fame (who always manages to say something inappropriate)...

We were treated to live music from the very cool Puppini Sisters (wearing amazing corsets).

And then the man Maxi Priest (who I *loved* when I was a kid) dropped in to tell us about his Christmas CD, Time of the Year, and to wish us a Merry Christmas...awwwwww.

You can listen to the whole show on the BBC iPlayer for the next seven days - do it!

With thanks to Jo Good and all @ BBC London Late Show/Sunday Sessions.