I’m going to have to stifle my desire to rant and rave about my local branch of Topshop in Clapham Junction being ransacked and why that happened last night. (In short: many Londoners have seen this coming for ages due to the increasing cockiness/disaffection of the danger-dog owning massive who ‘control’ the streets and mug you, well me, at bus stops, but nothing scares me more than the right wing swing in light of the riots; yes, the clean-up effort is very admirable, but the day when I read fellow – supposedly intelligent – Twitter users imploring the army to ‘gas them all’ and telling Darcus Howe to ‘go home’ is not a day I will ever look back on with pride).

So, moving on to what I’m supposed to be here to do, I was thinking yesterday about my list (oh, you know the one I mean). It’s not laminated, because I reserve the right to change my mind, but I do love trotting it out on occasion to find out how many ladies share my lust.

Anyway, I was thinking that the only thing I miss about dating (being an old married lady and all) is deciding what to wear to suit the guy you’re going out with. Luckily, I now dress to suit myself, which is the nuts (and occasionally my real life man even agrees with my choices), but there is something dead special about being able to match your garms to your man – you know, to snare him and that.

Sometimes, when I’m out shopping, I imagine I’m off out on a hot date with one of the geezers on my list, just to inspire my choices. It mixes things up a bit; keeps it interesting. Or maybe I’m just a bit crackers. Who’s to know. 

Crackers or not, in the spirit of lightening things up after a terrible night of sirens and worry in South London, I’m going to treat you to my list over the next five days and tell you what I’d wear to my imaginary date with each of them. And if you want to share your list with me PLEASE do…

Date no1: The Grohl (Lester Cohen)

Lovely, beared Dave would take me to a scuzzy rock club in LA – and I could happily bust out one of the Glam Underground outfits from Topshop’s AW11/12 Lookbook.

Love this sexy and sassy ensemble with the sheer top and skinny trews. Wonder if it would make Uncle Dave “Breakout” (fnar)…?

Topshop

Or, I might just go classic rock chic with a black body con in on-trend midi length, toughened up with moshpit-worthy boots. LOVE this Taka Gisele dress by All Saints from the AW11/12 collection and it strikes exactly the right balance of “come hither/don’t even think about it” that you want to achieve on a date, with a rock God or not.

All Saints